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A beautiful woman's last wish

Callen Kropp

How would it feel to wake up in the stillness of 3AM to find your body from the top of your head to the tips of your toes frozen in immense pain?  And how hopeless would you feel to learn that, despite devoting every ounce of will and energy and resolve that you can muster to free yourself, you can’t move a muscle.  You can’t lift a finger, can’t wiggle a toe.  And, perhaps worst, your lungs feel like they are freezing up — and the panic that comes with shortness of breath settles in.


Sue Backer knows. The Courtenay-area farmer, wife, grandmother, sister and friend to so many finds herself terrorized in such a state about every two hours.  Diagnosed with ALS (better known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease), in March of 2022, Sue has presided over a body in decline.  ALS is a thief; it is a nervous system disease that causes loss of muscle control.  Sue is now desperately in need of a specialized bed that would give her the independence so needed to manage the last days of her life. Her longtime friend, Deb Thompson of Jamestown, has sounded an alarm, “We CAN help!”, she says.  “Sue needs a highly technical bed that she could summon herself to reposition her body whenever she needs to.  “It would change her life so dramatically.  It costs $30,000 and none of that is covered by insurance.  But we are talking about her life and the wish we all have—that we can die with dignity.”  Thompson has set up accounts at First Community Credit Union in Jamestown and Bremer Bank in Carrington.  A Gofundme online fundraiser has also been set up.  “If everyone would pitch in, we as a community could make such a difference in her life,” says Thompson. “Giving Hearts Day is coming right up—and what better cause than to affect someone who has been such a giving heart herself?” Happiness has been her choice If there is any description that would fit all of Sue’s 63 years, it would be “giving.”  From serving on her local ambulance service to cooking at her local cafe to serving customers at banks in Jamestown and Carrington, to tending to her own roles on the family farm,  Sue has always been a go-getter, a person that approaches every need with spunk and optimism.  She has managed her illness the same way. “When I was first diagnosed and told I was terminally ill with three to five years left, my sister Deb and I cried,” she said. “For five minutes.  Then I said, ‘Ok, enough.  Why bawl? Let’s make the best of the time I have.’” Ever since that day in March, 2022, Sue has kept that conviction. Soon after her diagnosis, she took her grandchildren to Jamestown’s Art Center, where they sculpted the urn that will someday hold her ashes. She has recorded herself reading children’s books that she has given to each grandchild.  And every week, her entire family, including her beloved grandchildren (ranging in age 2 - 9), three children, and their spouses, gather for “Sunday Funday.” Her son Justin, who with his wife, Brittany, took over the farm when Sue was diagnosed, has mentioned that he finds a silver lining in those weekly gatherings - and his mother agrees.  “To me, there are a lot of positives in this,” says Sue. “We make it a point to spend time together that we wouldn’t have,” she says.  “I have had a chance to tell the people in my life the things I will leave them with.  Not everyone has that chance." The people that know her best weren’t a bit surprised when Sue decided to hold her own Celebration of Life five months after her diagnosis.  “Nobody knows how long you live with this disease, but the thing I did know is that I wanted to be part of the party.  I didn’t want to miss it.”

Neither did the people of her family and community.  On a beautiful August evening in 2022, a huge crowd turned out to honor Sue’s life.  Roaming through the supper and street dance in her wheelchair, Sue was all smiles as she reminisced and laughed and hugged the throngs of people that crowded the little town of Kensal in her honor.  

It takes a village

These days, Sue still finds the stamina, with the daily help of husband Dale and sister Deb Alber, to find positivity in each day.  “I have never been a whiner, and don’t plan to start now,” she says.  “I am so grateful to have Dale and Deb here with me everyday. They are lifesavers.”

Alber says she is doing what any sister would do.  “I feel God has put me here and this is what I am supposed to do,” she says.  “It’s so hard to watch someone you love go through such a struggle. I feel blessed that I can be here for her.” Nonetheless, the physical burden that is overwhelming her body has even Sue feeling that enough is enough. “I pray to God each day that I will pass peacefully,” she says.  “But I also know I will cope with whatever HE plans.”

Alber says her prayers now are for help in the form of that special bed. ‘We have tried every kind of mattress, mattress pad, pillows, and you-name-it to keep her comfortable.  A bed right now like that ProForm, which is made for ALS patients, would be a godsend. We have the company all set up and, once we acquire the funds to order, they have promised to expedite it and have it set up within days. I pray for this." YOU CAN HELP SUE BACKER WITH THIS BED!  ANY DONATION would be valued!  Time is of the essence, so please send your donation to the Sue Backer Benefit Fund with one of the following: Visit online at her gofundme at this link:  https://www.gofundme.com/f/susans-last-request-a-bed-of-comfort Or donate to one of the accounts set up for Sue:

-First Committee Credit Union, 111 9th St SW (Po Box 2075), Jamestown, ND 58401

-Bremer Bank, 807 Main Street, Carrington, ND 58421

Thank you, everyone so much! PLEASE SHARE!

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