Election reflection: turn it around

I have often wondered what life is like for a middle-aged woman who aborted as a youngster.  Does she scan crowds looking for the face of the child she aborted?  Does she live her life with guilt and regret for making a decision she felt pressured into?  What is it like to give birth to a child you decide to keep after aborting one years before? Do you sit and wonder if that aborted baby would have been as beautiful as the one you hold in your arms now?   For those of you who put yourself out there as a candidate in this election, you must be exhausted and need a nap.  Please do so with our gratitude for putting yourself out there.  Your legislative districts, city, county and state need you. Your country needs you.  Whether you are the successful candidate or not, we all win when we respect and support the democratic process that has served our country so well. Thank you for taking part.

This is only the second election I have witnessed without my father.  He was one of those ‘white men’ — barely out of his teens — who fought in a world war.  The sights he had to see, and the things he had to do, at the behest of his Navy superiors couldn’t have been anything but grueling for him and the throngs of the young volunteers that made up our armed forces.  But, together with a massive coalition of allies, they stopped the world from the Nazis and imperial Japan. His love of country, despite the visions of war that undoubtedly lived in his head, surfaced most brightly at election time.  It was then that he held the country - and the office of the presidency— up with complete reverence. I remember when Obama won his first election.  Dad’s response was, “I think the black people will be lifted by this and so it's a good thing.”

Thus, when I hear people speak about “white men” as racist misogynists, my skin crawls.  To spurn such disrespect for the very people that saved us from a Hitler regime is inexcusable. Yes, this country — not so long ago — was governed by male chauvinism.  White men dominated, for sure.  But wasn’t it also white men that obviously moved aside a bit to embrace women? How would we be enjoying the freedoms we have today in this country if white men hadn’t at some point—whether pushed over or not — stepped aside and given us room at the podium?  All we have to do is look at a country like Afghanistan or Yemen to realize that we women have much to celebrate.  We can be, and are, astronauts, brain surgeons, engineers, fighter pilots, welders, linemen, and anything else we want to be.  When I grew up, we were told we had four choices: to be a secretary, teacher, nurse or housewife. 

For those who are bemoaning the results of this election and chalk them up to gender, I respectfully disagree.  Kamala Harris did not lose because she is a woman.  She fell short on policy.  She was unclear about what she believed on the economy, energy, crime, immigration, border security, defense and foreign relations.  She didn’t distinguish herself from President Biden and his policies— and didn’t do herself a favor by not squealing on his decline far sooner.  The one policy she was very clear on was abortion. In today’s terms, I suppose I am to refer to that as reproductive rights.  But the dictionary definition of “reproductive” means “relating to the production of new life.”  When we talk about abortion, we need to call it what it is — stopping the production of new life — and we must acknowledge where the issue is now: in the jurisdiction of the states.  Some people are spending endless energy commiserating on the issue of abortion and what is often termed as “loss of rights.”  If that phrase is meant to infer that we are losing rights other than the right to abort, I digress—and will wait to hear details from the states as they define their own versions of Roe v. Wade.  There is a lot of exaggeration out there.  No, Trump is not going to require that your daughter have a rapist’s child.  Trump isn’t going to risk the life of a woman in childbirth.  Trump isn’t going to do anything about abortion rights.  The issue of abortion is back in the hands of your state legislators.  And I contend that they are not going to sentence you to the life of a handmaid. Abortion legislation is not just specific to the United States—almost 100 countries have some kind of restriction on them. But why not reload right here and approach abortion another way?  Why don’t we do all we can to make abortion a procedure of last resort? Why don’t we  try to support those young women who find themselves dealing with unintended pregnancy--before, during and after? What are we doing to ensure our daughters and sons aren’t making the choices that lead to unintended pregnancy?  When I was in high school, I remember a fellow classmate that became pregnant when we were sophomores.  And continued to attend school even into her last trimester! Back then, you didn’t see pregnant teen-agers — not because there weren’t any.  They were absent from public spaces because they were sent away by families who treasured their family honor above the dignity of their daughter.  Can you imagine?  You are a 15-year-old who is devastated first by unintended pregnancy, and then must face being thrown out and sent away by your own family? Thankfully, those days are over!  That Fargo Home For Unwed Mothers that we used to hear about is no longer part of our vernacular.  But we need to revisit the reason for it.  We, as a society, obviously haven’t done enough to deter unwanted pregnancies.  And we have done little to reduce the stigma around unwanted pregnancy.  Abortion certainly does nothing but add to that stigma.  

I've often wondered what life is like for a middle-aged woman who aborted as a youngster.  Does she scan crowds looking for the face of the child she aborted?  Does she live her life with guilt and regret for making a decision she felt pressured into?  What is it like to give birth to a child you decide to keep after aborting one years before? Do you sit and wonder if that aborted baby would have been as beautiful as the one you hold in your arms now?  

Think of the mental impact of the way we handle unintended pregnancy.  Undergoing abortion has profound mental consequences — likely unaddressed. What are we doing to help women who have made that choice? When are we going to rally in support of those who find themselves in an unintended pregnancy?  When will we try harder to educate and counsel them - and young men as well - before pregnancy? How can  we offer more alternatives to abortion? If we spent half as much energy and resources helping those dealing with unintended pregnancies, rather than advocate for abortion, we would be truly giving women - and all the female babies we can save from abortion - the rights they deserve.